Bloodstained Spring Day
by Meowiegirl
Summary: Sanosuke finds Kenshin, badly hurt and at death's door. Can Sano work up the courage to admit his love for Kenshin before it's too late, and what will become of them? As told to Ayame and Suzume by Megumi. YAOI! SanoKen
1. Chapter 1

Bloodstained Spring Day

A/N: I bet all of you who read my other Rurouni Kenshin fic are saying, "Thank God! Not another one of her stupid so-called humor fics!"

You're right! Warnings are as follows: shounen-ai (Sano x Kenshin and mentioned Hiko x Katsu), character death, and just general Kaoru-bitchiness. Yeah, if you're obsessed with Kaoru, turn back now. Although she might be nice later on, I'm not sure.

I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. If I did, Kenshin, Sano, Aoshi, etc., etc., would be paired up with their fellow bishies.

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"Auntie Megumi! Auntie Megumi!" 

Megumi Takani looked up from a guide to new medicines, to see her two much younger friends run into her office at the clinic just as they did almost every day without fail. It had been the routine for several years, and although it hadn't changed, the girls _had_, slightly but noticeably to those who knew them well. Ayame, who was twelve now, had grown into something of a tomboy, and always wore her hair very short, and her younger sister was even more curious about everything than she had been when Megumi first appeared at the dojo.

"What is it, girls?" Megumi smiled. The clinic that Megumi and Dr. Genzai ran was like the girls' second home, especially now that Ayame was taking swordsmanship lessons from her "Auntie Kaoru-sensei".

Suzume climbed into Megumi's lap. "Tell us a story, please! Something with romance, and handsome princes, and-"

"And samurai! And swordfights!" Ayame piped up. Megumi reached down and scooped the older girl up onto her lap as well.

"Alright, girls." Megumi moved a bit so that she was more comfortable, and then continued. "Just so you don't fight, I'll tell you a story with both samurai and romance in it, and a handsome prince, and swordfighting. You girls think Sir Ken was a handsome prince, right?"

Ayame and Suzume vigorously nodded their agreement, and then, Megumi began the story.

"When Sanosuke- you girls remember Sano, right? Of course you do- looked back on this very day every year after the tragedy, he wouldn't remember the cloudless blue sky, or the fact that it had been unusually warm for an April day. He wouldn't remember the trees swaying slightly in the soft breeze, or the flowers, or even the fact that his friend Katsu had finally settled down with Kenshin's former teacher a few weeks before. All he would see, in his mind's eye, would be Kenshin, laying face-down in the green grass. He'd see blood on the grass, blood on the trees, blood on the sakuras that were scattered all around.

"The day had started normally, even happily, by Kamiya Dojo standards. Katsu, who was a constant source of fascination to Yahiko ('What happens when two men live together? Can they have kids? How do they...you know...do it? Kaoru, shut_ up_, I'm _not_ a little kid!'), had sent over some castilla cake. Kaoru was guarding it jealously, Kenshin was doing dishes, Sano was speculating about his chances with the little redhead (_What if I just went over there right now and kissed him, hmm? Nah, he'd probably do that stupid 'Orooo!' thing or somethin'. I'll wait._), and I was watching over you girls. Do you remember this well? If you do, I'll stop... If you want, that is."

Both girls looked up at Megumi and shook their heads. "No!" both piped up. "Go on, please, Auntie Megumi!"

Megumi laughed softly, and continued. "Kaoru looked up from 'her' cake. 'Kenshin,' she asked, 'would you mind going fishing to catch tonight's dinner? Please? We could all use a rest from tofu.'

"Looking back, Sano never found it in him to forgive her for that. He'd have eaten tofu for the rest of his life if Kenshin had even just lived to be thirty-five years old.

"But Kenshin, always so kind, had said, 'Certainly, Miss Kaoru. I know a good spot, too! I should be back in time for lunch, that I should.'

"And then he left. It was the last time any of his little group would see him walking around, healthy and smiling, without one foot in the afterlife. If Sano had only known... He never forgave himself, either, for not knowing somehow, not going with Kenshin and saving him from his fate.

"And so the few hours before lunch passed. Sano wasn't at all worried about Kenshin. After all, the redhead had said he would be back by lunch, and there was no need to fret if he didn't come back early.

"But then, Kaoru had shouted that lunch was ready, and that they were eating, Kenshin or no Kenshin.

"_He's lost track of time_, Sano thought to himself. _He's lost track of time, and that's what's keeping him._

"I looked questioningly at the empty spot at the table.

"'Where's Sir Ken?' I asked. 'Kaoru, what's happened to him? He said he would be back by now, and he's rarely late.'

"'I'm sure it's nothing," Kaoru replied nonchalantly. "Besides, he can take care of himself.'

"But Kaoru was thinking something entirely different: _Kenshin, where are you? I hope it's not true, what Megumi's hinting at. I know you, you'd always come home on time even if you had to fight a horde of bandits to do it. You'd come home because you love me. And where would that leave me if you died_?

"The spiky-haired former Sekihoutai, however, was anything but calm, outside or inside. He was worried now, really worried, and he had a bad feeling that something was amiss. It was, as his friend had said, very unusual for Kenshin to be late for anything, much less one of the meals that Kaoru served. Although Kenshin didn't love the girl romantically, he thought of her as a younger sister, and he'd always had a special place for her in his heart.

"Sano stood up. 'Look, guys,' he said impatiently, 'I'm going out to look for Kenshin. Whoever wants to come, can, but I'm leaving right now.'

"And with that, he slid the door open and walked out, slamming it behind him and causing Kaoru to shout, but he didn't care. He was too worried to think about the fact that if Kenshin was hurt, the culprit might still be around, and Sano's hand was still healing from the fight with Shishio. A fight between Sano and anyone who hurt Kenshin was a fight to the death, Sano would make sure of that, but with one hand burnt and the other one broken, it would probably be Sano who died in the end.

"At the edge of the forest, almost in the dojo's yard, lay a figure, crumpled on the ground, and all but invisible due to the sakura petals that were nearly covering him. Red was smeared all over the tree trunks; it pooled around the body and had turned some of the delicate little blossoms a violent shade of crimson.

"Sano broke into a run, and at the same time, felt distinctly sick to his stomach. He knew who the dead-looking thing was, he was sure of it, and at the same time, the ex-Sekihoutai was praying to every god, goddess, and demon he could think of that he was wrong. Sano hoped it was a bear, a traveler, a heap of clothes, anything that would mean that Kenshin really had just lost track of time at the pond.

"'Kenshin!' he called, nearing the thing. 'Kenshin, is that you? It's Sano, Kenshin!'

"_Please be alright, please be alive. Kenshin, don't die on me, don't be dead, be healthy, be able to be healed. Please, please, please..._

"Sano slowed down as he grew nearer to the crumpled figure. The shape was obviously a human, and the beautiful red hair that was fanned out around the body left no room in Sano's mind for hope that Kenshin was alright. Some of the hair was bloody and stuck to Kenshin's head, but most of the blood was from Kenshin's torso area.

"'Oh, Kami-sama, they've slashed his stomach open. He'll die for sure.' Sano's mouth was dry as he knelt down next to Kenshin.

"He knew Kenshin had to get back to the house, and fast, but Sano remembered something that I had said a few months ago about vital signs. He couldn't remember the exact words, but it approximated, 'If their heart's beating and they're not breathing, run like the wind to the nearest doctor. If they're alert, run faster than the wind. If the person's gone, run faster than the gods because the doctor might be able to save them.'

"Sano's hands were shaking as he put them on the little redhead's chest to feel for a heartbeat. There was one, albeit a very faint one, and a heartbeat meant hope in Sano's view. Sano could have jumped for joy at that moment; the little rurouni was alive, his pure heart was beating, they might just have a chance to fall in love after all!

"But-

"'Something's wrong here,' Sano muttered to himself, and he quickly figured out what that something was.

"Kenshin's chest had been heaving up and down the other times Kenshin had been badly hurt, heaving up and down while the redhead fought for every breath, not wanting to give up. But now... Now, it looked like he'd given up, because he was pale and unmoving. Sano, after all, had mistaken him for dead, at first sight, and it took a few seconds' worth of listening to Kenshin's heartbeat to convince the brunette that his dear rurouni was, in fact, alive.

"'Shit!' Sano growled. He couldn't lose Kenshin, not after he'd just gotten his hopes up that the redhead might live.

"So, he picked up Kenshin and ran, faster than he'd ever run before, faster even than Kenshin ran sometimes, faster, in Sano's mind, than the gods themselves. It was a speed fueled by desperation, and love for the delicate man cradled in his arms.

"I opened the door to find Sano panting and wild-eyed on the porch, cradling what appeared to be a mess of bloody fabric close to his chest.

"'Sano, what's-,' I asked, but Sano cut me off.

"'It's Kenshin,' he whispered. 'He's hurt real bad.'

"And with that, Sano thrust Kenshin into my arms and sank down on the porch of the dojo with his head in his hands. From the way his shoulders were shaking, I knew that Sano was crying, and so I carried Kenshin into the house and decided to give the younger man some time alone.

"_He's not supposed to die like this_, Sano thought to himself. _Kenshin's not supposed to die like this, not in pain, and ill, and alone._

"In the fighter's mind, if Kenshin never woke up, he had died out there, no matter how long it was until the gentle little rurouni's heart stopped beating. All of Sano's memories of Kenshin were replaying themselves before his eyes: the day they met, fighting Shishio together, Kenshin struck blind by Shougo Amakusa's sword, the night Sano very nearly left all he had to fight alongside his best friend Katsu and had ended up falling, wounded, into Kenshin's arms and feeling the redhead's tears on his shoulder, so faintly and delicately. Kenshin getting just a little bit drunk one night last summer, and leaning forward into Sano's face, kissing him lightly.

"_Yeah, that was a great night_, Sano remembered.

"It hadn't been Kenshin's idea to get drunk on that summer night. No, it took Sano a good twenty minutes of chiding him and finally, flagging down Miss Tae and ordering a sake for the little redhead, so that he'd have to drink it. Even then, Kenshin was so very reluctant to drink that Sano ended up feeling a little guilty for what he'd done. But then...

"'Oh, fine.' Kenshin had what could almost be called a pout on his face, and Sano was sure that it was quite unintentional. 'But just one cup, and only so I don't have to carry you home this time.'

"Sano laughed, and handed him the bottle of sake, watching as the little redhead carefully poured it into the cup and drank. Kenshin drank the rest of the bottle, too, and he'd been having so much fun by that time, just drinking sake and laughing with Sano, that one bottle turned into two... Then three... Then four...

"Although Kenshin was not tall or excessively muscular, he had a good tolerance of sake, and by the end of four bottles, he was only a bit tipsy...or so he thought. When Kenshin stood up next, the room swirled around him, a spinning stream of colors. The rurouni reeled, stepping back and back and back as he did so, and then-

"-warmth and the softness of an old, often-worn jacket. Kenshin looked up at where he'd been just a moment ago, his intoxicated mind hazy and slow at piecing together what had happened. A pair of strong arms wrapped around him, and Kenshin's first instinct was the Battousai's- fight off whoever was holding him down- but his second instinct was that of Kenshin Himura, a human being who merely wanted to save others and be accepted for who he was.

"And Kenshin followed that second instinct. He turned in the pair of arms encircling him, leaned his head on Sano's shoulder, and sighed happily. Kenshin breathed slowly and rhythmically right in time with Sano, and the two sat chest-to-chest, with the fighter holding the smaller man in his arms protectively.

"'Y'fell,' Sano whispered into Kenshin's hair. Sano was really drunk tonight, so drunk that Kenshin would undoubtedly end up carrying him home yet again, no matter what the redhead had said before. 'Never... Never wanna let ya fall ever again, Kenshin. Unh-unh,' Sano shook his head vigorously, the tails of the red headband sliding gently across Kenshin's face.

"Kenshin smiled in response to Sano's words and the tickling sensation of a headband tail sliding over his nose. 'Thank you, Sano,' he replied softly, 'But don't you know? To catch me, you might have to fall too.'

"And then, Kenshin had leaned in, so close to Sano's face, and Sano tightened his embrace and smiled slightly. The little redhead had to stretch up a few inches for their lips to be touching, and when he did, he pressed his mouth to the fighter's, and kissed him, gently, quickly.

"So it was done. Sano wasn't sure for a long time whether or not it had just been a pleasant dream, one of those hallucinations that can be brought on by too much sake, but he found out later it wasn't. He wanted so badly to kiss Kenshin back, but- and he told me this, girls- he was afraid that Kenshin was hallucinating himself, seeing Miss Kaoru when he was kissing Sano.

"Sano did something then that he told me he'd always regret. He ran, jumping up from where he sat on the floor and dumping poor Kenshin unceremoniously on the ground. He ran, but not because he didn't love Kenshin. No, in fact, Sanosuke loved Kenshin so very much that the ex-gangster was afraid of finding that Kenshin wasn't truly in love with him."

Suzume looked up. "Auntie Megumi, why would Uncle Ken lie to Sano? Uncle Ken never lied, ever! That doesn't make sense," she said, eyes wide with curiosity.

Megumi chuckled softly. "My dears, when you are older, you will learn that sometimes, people may answer to a higher authority than their parents, their teachers, and even their gods. This authority is alcohol... It can lead to happy accidents, girls, but it can also lead to heartbreak. Sano and Kenshin experienced both on that night. Now, if there are any more questions...? No? All right, my dears.

"Sano ran the three miles from the Akabeko to my house, and when I found him panting on my doorstep, he told me that he hadn't even paused for breath! Over tea, I managed to get him to tell me everything, and I promised to help him. I didn't know that, almost a year later, my attempts at help would fail when they were most needed.

"So, back to that spring day. As Sano sat on the porch, praying to every divine being he knew that Kenshin would live, I was inside the house tending to the older man. I must tell you two, I didn't think Kenshin would survive the night. He'd already lost so much blood, and I must confess that I find deep stomach wounds especially difficult to heal. Kenshin's wound was so deep that I almost feared he'd tried to commit seppuku, but later, he told me everything that had happened to him on that morning.

"I managed to bandage both his stomach wound and the gash on the side of his head, but it took the rest of that day, and then the whole night. Kenshin had lain on the ground for a little over two hours before Sano found him, and I had to clean off the poor redhead before bandaging him, so that he would not become infected. To tell you the truth, I was already worried– he had an awful fever and the area around a less serious cut on his chest had started to swell. I began to cry, not something I'm too proud of, but I was just so shocked that anyone could do this to Kenshin..."

Megumi rubbed at the corner of her eye for a few minutes.

"Auntie Megumi," Ayame whispered, "if you don't want to tell us the story...well, I _guess_ it's okay."

Megumi looked up. "No, dear. I'm fine. Now, where was I? Oh, yes. I had just finished bandaging Kenshin, and I honestly didn't know if he would survive until the next day.

"Then Sano walked in. He was rumpled, his hair was messy- messier than usual- and his clothes were utterly wrinkled. I asked him what was wrong.

"'Oh,' he replied. 'Kitsune, so much is wrong here. Oh, man.'

"I realized that I'd said the wrong thing, spoken without thinking. I told him that I meant his appearance, and that I hoped he hadn't gotten into another brawl. They were going to ban him from the Akabeko if he got any more rowdy than he usually was!

"'No,' Sano replied. 'Come on, you didn't _see_ me? I spent the whole night outside, sitting on the porch. I... I didn't want Kenshin to die with out hearing...'

"Sano had trailed off, so I prodded him. 'What did you want him to hear?' I asked gently.

"Sano looked at the floor, and then briefly at me, and then returned his attention to the floor. There had been tears in his eyes.

"'I have to apologize for that night,' Sano whispered. 'And I need to tell Kenshin that I love him.'

"'Oh,' I answered quietly. 'Sanosuke, I'm so sorry. Go on, tell him, but he won't hear you.'

"'What do you mean?' Sano shouted. 'He has to hear... Oh, Kami-sama, if he dies before I can tell him...! Shit!' Sano punched the wall, hard, and kept punching until his knuckles were skinned and there was a bloodstained dent in the wood. He slumped down, not even wanting to see Kenshin in his nearly lifeless state.

"Kenshin was in a very deep sleep, so deep that no one could reach him, and I'd tried all night, the night before. His skin was unhealthily pale, his red hair dull and limp. It was odd how much life had left him already, but this was only a whisper of things to come. Kenshin told me later that he spent this whole time dreaming, and from the tortured looks that crossed his face as he lay unconscious, I can only guess what the rurouni was dreaming of.

"Those sad expressions and the tears that sometimes streamed down Kenshin's cheeks were the only indication that this was indeed a body with a soul, and not merely a corpse who did not realize that its essence had already left it. For a week and a half this continued, but one day, I heard noises coming from Kenshin's room. Screaming, shrill and painful.

"I ran in, frightened that perhaps an old enemy of the Hitokiri Battousai had come to kill Kenshin while he was in a defenseless state, but the room was empty. The screams came again, and I realized they were coming from Kenshin. They were wordless, but from the way he was sobbing and hyperventilating, I knew that these were screams of despair and madness.

"I stood by him, holding his head in my lap and stroking his long red hair, but, if anything, that only made his screaming worse. Finally, after two hours, he said a coherent word: Tomoe. I did not know at the time that Tomoe had been a young woman who fell in love with Kenshin and was subsequently killed by him when she jumped in front of his sword during a fight.

"Then, something frightening happened. Kenshin's scar began to bleed. It poured crimson blood down his face, onto his bandages, and into his hair, where it matted the fine orange strands. This scar was a wound that had never been allowed to heal. _Kenshin_ had never allowed it to heal, just as Sano would take every scar Kenshin had gotten from his encounter in the forest, and scar his own soul just as deeply. Guilt is a powerful thing, and Sano, despite his strength, had fallen to it.

"I bandaged up the scar, and my hands shook. This was the most difficult part of caring for a patient; the knowledge that he might die no matter what, that all of my love and time would come to nothing. I didn't know whether or not Kenshin would live, but I couldn't give up on him. I wouldn't, not after he'd saved my life so many times.

"I suppose that I still did love him in a way. When I first came to the dojo, I'd had the worst crush on Kenshin, but I saw the way that he and Sano looked at each other. Although it wasn't obvious to them, it was obvious to anyone else that those two were enamored of each other, so I actually set my sights elsewhere. That is a mark of maturity, and don't forget it: the ability to give up your love of someone when there is little chance that the person will love you back.

"Kenshin was my friend, however, and it was plain from the way he acted towards Sano that he loved the man. And after a while, after I began to really notice Sano, I began to see that he loved Kenshin as well. I also saw that those two were driving themselves mad with the fear of being rejected, and I wanted so badly to tell one of them that the other loved him. I couldn't, though; I just felt that something like this had to blossom on its own.

"The next morning, Sano finally worked up the courage to see Kenshin. The older man had been his idol and love interest for so long that I worried what Sano's reaction would be– he'd seen Kenshin ill or wounded before, but not that badly, and seeing one's hero so vulnerable... Well, it can do strange things to a person. Sano became so quiet as he looked down at Kenshin, and I left the room. I didn't want to intrude on Sanosuke's privacy, and the things he was going to say were almost certainly things only meant for his beloved redhead's ears. I did look in several hours later, to ask if Sano needed anything to eat or drink.

"He was just kneeling at Kenshin's side, kneeling and holding the redhead's hand. Kenshin looked even smaller and paler than usual now that he was at death's door, and his hand disappeared inside the street fighter's two much larger ones.

"'Nah,' he whispered. "I'm not hungry, Megumi.'

"And so I left. Sano told me later that he hadn't moved from Kenshin's side for almost ten hours. I can only imagine the great love sadness that must have had hold of Sano for the normally impatient man to sit still for so long. The fact is, though, girls, that he did. And I left him alone for most of it, returning only for the final hour of his vigil.

"'Sano,' I said, kneeling beside him and wrapping one arm around his shoulders. 'Sano, I'm trying so hard, and it's not working, I'm _failing_... He's _dying on me_, Sano, my friend is dying on me and I can't even save him... Oh...' And I began to cry again.

"Sano just leaned against me, comforting me with his warmth and his presence. We supported each other, the two of us, just sitting together. After a while, Sano's shoulders began to shake as well; he was crying. I felt so guilty then, so guilty at being unable to end the sadness that had caused the two of us, fairly stoic people, to cry for so long.

"But our tears were not for much longer.

"Sano jumped slightly, more of a quick jerk upwards, and he looked over at me. Something was shining in his eyes, something other than tears. It was happiness, sunshine breaking through clouds, and he had a crooked, sad smile on his face.

"'Megumi,' Sano began hesitantly. 'Megumi, I think... I think he just squeezed my hand.'

"Sano waited a few minutes, seeing if Kenshin would do it again. We were both so worried that it would have just been Sano's over-stressed, tired imagination. Neither of us wanted to be disappointed. I told Sano as much; he sighed, seeming almost to deflate, and he shook his head.

"'Sorry,' he replied. 'I'm stupid, it's just that I needed him to...'

"I nodded, patting Sano's hand. Suddenly, though, he shook me off, and I wondered if I'd offended him somehow. On his face, though, was not an insulted expression, but one of extreme concentration.

"After what seemed like an hour, but was really ten or fifteen minutes, Sano spoke up again.

'I'm sure of it,' he said. 'I'm sure of it, he squeezed my hand. Megumi, he's trying to tell us that he'll live!'

"Sano seemed so delighted that I didn't want to tell him my opinion. I'd lost faith, you see, that Kenshin would ever wake up.

"_It's a spasm,_ I thought. _I'm sure it's a spasm; this is the beginning of the end. He's losing control over his muscles, and he'll be dead before tomorrow morning._

"I'd forgotten that Kenshin could pull through horrible injuries just for those who loved him. To this day, I am convinced that had Sano not been there, what happened next would have only been a wildly optimistic dream of mine.

"Kenshin's eyes opened slightly, making contact with mine. That little bit of violet struck something within me. There was hope now that Kenshin would live through the night, hope (not much, I'll confess) that Kenshin might even survive those horrible injuries.

"When his eyes closed again, I felt cheated, robbed. But what happened next was even more of a miracle.

"'T-tell Sano...' Kenshin whispered, so soft that I was unsure for a minute whether I'd imagined it or not, "Tell Sano... That- that I love him... And I won't give... Give up j-just yet...'

"I thought at first that Kenshin hadn't seen Sano, but that was impossible. Later, I learned that Kenshin had told me because I was so close to Sano; he knew that I would know whether or not Sano loved him.

"I relayed Kenshin's message to Sano. The tall man's eyes registered first disbelief, then shock, then a happiness so vivid that it seemed for a moment that everything would be all right again. I cried again, tears of joy now, for Sano and Kenshin. Maybe things _would_ sort themselves out. Maybe I had no right to be so pessimistic.

"I left as Sano leaned in close to Kenshin and pressed his lips to the redhead's. Kenshin might have responded slightly, I'm not sure. We were all so happy, ending what had been a horrid day on a good note such as this.

"Maybe I should have known that things couldn't stay this wonderful."

* * *

Well, here it is. I'm not sure when I'll update again, as I'm working on a Jonny Quest fanfiction, a Yu-Gi-Oh fanfiction, and a Harry Potter fanfiction, not to mention that school starts soon. I'm going to try, though, and I'm thinking of making this into a trilogy. The next would be about Hiko and Katsu, and the third would be about Yahiko and Yutaro. 

Thank you for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

Bloodstained Spring Day

A/N: Wow... Thank you to everyone who reviewed! This is the second of three chapters in this story, because the chapters are pretty long, I think. Oh, I'm jumping on the "Naruto craze" bandwagon, I'm watching the show on Cartoon Network every Saturday. This won't affect the story at all; I'm just saying... (sweatdrop)

I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Meh. I _wish_ I did...

* * *

Ayame and Suzume came running in through the door right after breakfast the next day, in a flurry of green kimonos and sword-practice outfits. Megumi had barely even turned around when they launched themselves at her, yammering excitedly.

"I want to hear more, Auntie Megumi! Please, please tell us more!" Suzume begged.

"Yes, please tell us!" added Ayame.

Megumi smiled sadly to herself and sat down. She'd prepared herself mentally for telling this part, what she'd considered to be the middle part of Kenshin's story and the hardest part to tell in many ways. The girls climbed onto her lap again, which was easier than it should have been, seeing as both Ayame and Suzume were small for their ages.

"Alright, girls," Megumi said. "As long as no one comes in here needing anything, I'll continue the story. If I have to break for work, there's nothing I can do, but it should be a fairly slow day today; it's been so for the past week. Oh, and we'll have to stop for lunch."

Both girls nodded their agreement, and Megumi smiled her approval.

"Now, at the point at which I left off, Kenshin and Sanosuke had finally realized that each one loved the other. There was happiness in the dojo for the first time since Kenshin had been nearly killed the previous morning, true happiness that lifts you up so high that you don't think you'll ever come down. We did, later; we came down very hard indeed, but that is not the part of the story that I'm telling right now.

"Sano and I stayed with Kenshin for the rest of the night. I only left to get water for Kenshin in case he woke up again and was thirsty, and any medical supplies I thought I might need. Sano never left Kenshin's side, and just knelt there holding Kenshin's hand after the samurai had fallen asleep. It was so sad and so beautiful at the same time, two lovers that had newly discovered each other, and now might be torn apart by one of the strongest forces: Death.

"Neither of us fell asleep, though, and if you girls think this is a superhuman feat, well, it wasn't. The love of a person can drive anyone to do anything, from something as mundane to going without sleep to something as difficult as climbing a high mountain. In a way, Sano would have to climb a mountain, too– not a real one, of course– but he'd have to work hard emotionally and sometimes physically to help Kenshin stay alive long enough for their relationship to blossom.

"We stayed awake all of that night, it's true, but I've said nothing about the morning. In fact, as soon as the first ray of sun entered the room, Sano fell to one side and slept, laying next to Kenshin and still holding the redhead's hand. I patted his shoulder sympathetically and went to my own bed, one that I'd improvised the day before in one corner of the room– I wanted to be there if Kenshin needed anything.

"As soon as I sat down on that bed, my eyes closed, and I was blissfully oblivious to the romantic tragedy playing itself out in the center of the room. This was a small, unused room off the back of the dojo, and we all had privacy. In fact, I didn't know exactly how private it was until I was awakened after several hours by a loud, high shriek.

"'Megumi!' screamed Kaoru. 'Megumi! Kenshin's hurt!'

"I looked up at her sleepily, her words taking some time to register in my brain. After a few minutes, though, I realized my grave mistake.

"I hadn't told Kaoru that Kenshin was back, or that he was injured as badly as he was.

"Amazingly, Kenshin didn't so much as flutter an eyelid. Through the loud argument that was to come, he didn't open his eyes once. Sano's another story, but I'll come to that when it's time to.

"I looked at Kaoru, imploring her to understand. 'Kaoru, I'm sorry, but I never even saw you since Kenshin returned-'

"I was cut off by an ice-cold 'When?'

"'Excuse me?'

"'When did he return? Did he come back like this? Is he dying? Megumi, you've told me _nothing!_ I love this man, and you've told me _absolutely nothing!_ I need to know!'

"I tried to speak calmly to the young woman. I did feel very guilty for not telling her anything, but what I'd said was the truth; the few times I'd left the room, she was either in town or giving lessons at another dojo.

"'Kaoru,' I said, 'I'll start from the beginning, I'll tell you _everything,_ but I have to make it brief. You'll know why once I've told you this story.'

"Kaoru nodded, so I began. 'About two days ago, you told Kenshin to go fishing. He went, and on the way back, he was attacked by someone, probably someone seeking revenge. Sano found him and brought him to the dojo. You were apparently in town, and I stayed here for the next day and a half sewing Kenshin up and medicating the wounds that had already gotten infected. After that, Sano and I stayed by Kenshin's side in case he woke up.' I decided not to tell her about the words exchanged between Sano and Kenshin just yet.

"She gave me a cold look. 'You didn't try to _find_ me?'

"I honestly felt awful. 'You have every right to be angry, Kaoru,' I said quietly, shamefully. 'I was in the wrong here. Just, please understand that I was very busy caring for Kenshin, and didn't have time to track you down.'

"'Didn't have _time?_' Oh, yes, she was angry. 'I am practically Kenshin's _wife,_ Megumi, and you didn't have _time _to find me?' Tears had begun to gather in her big eyes. 'What if he'd died, Megumi? Then what? Would you have buried him without me?'

"'He didn't, though, did he?' Annoyance grew in the back of my mind, displacing some of the shame. 'Kenshin didn't die. He's alive; he opened his eyes last night and spoke.'

"'He...spoke?' One tear dropped. 'Did he have anything to say to me?' Another tear.

"'No,' I replied. I would have said more, but Kaoru began to speak again.

"'Liar,' she whispered viciously. 'Liar. He did. He wouldn't wake up and say _nothing_ to me, have _no_ message for me!'

"I was torn between pity for Kaoru, being in as difficult a situation as she was, and anger at her for her seeming selfishness. What she said next, though, pushed me more towards anger.

"'You can leave anytime you like, Megumi.' That voice was as delicate and cold as porcelain. 'You can go home. I'll take care of Kenshin from here on. You really don't need to come back, either.'"

Ayame and Suzume stared up at Megumi.

"You had a- a _fight_ with Auntie Kaoru?" Ayame asked, amazed.

"Yeah, did you? You two are friends now, aren't you?" Suzume wondered.

"We are," replied Megumi simply. "You'll see why later. But now, I must continue this story if you want me to finish this part before lunch."

Ayame and Suzume nodded excitedly.

"Very good, then. Anyway, Kaoru had basically just ordered me to get out of her dojo, where I was caring for Kenshin.

"'He can't take care of himself, Kaoru,' I said quietly. 'He's sleeping right now; he's ill and has lost a lot of blood. You won't be able to care for him; you have to teach Yahiko and the students at neighboring dojos. You have to do errands around the house. You have to make sure Yahiko doesn't get into any sort of trouble.'

"'I _can_ care for him!' Her voice was fierce now. 'Megumi, you're underestimating me!' Tears had begun to fall from her eyes, moving me more towards pity for the angry, overwhelmed girl.

"'Kaoru,' I said softly. 'Kaoru, it's alright if you can't. If I leave, you know Kenshin will die. What if his wounds get infected because you weren't there to clean them? What if a host of other things happen?'

"She gasped angrily.

"I continued. 'He'll die without me here. I'm the one that's healed him before, so– and I'm sorry for sounding arrogant, but it _is_ the truth– I'm the best one to heal him now. Please, you don't have to want me here, but let me stay until Kenshin...heals.'

"You know, don't you, girls, that I wasn't going to say 'heals' at first. I couldn't let Kaoru know how serious the situation actually was; she might have done something foolish. Here is a valuable skill, and that skill is the ability to keep calm or at least rational under stress.

"Anyway, Kaoru nodded, almost imperceptibly, and walked quickly out with only a longing backwards glance at Kenshin.

"After several minutes had passed, Sano opened his eyes, and smirked.

"'You!' I gasped, laughing despite the seriousness of our situation. 'You were awake the whole time!'

"'Only because of _her,_' and he glared, half-angrily, at the door that Kaoru had just left through. 'The Missy woke me up, but I didn't want to get involved or move, 'cause then she might have seen that I was holding Kenshin's hand.' He yawned, and I started to laugh hysterically.

"I don't know what makes the little, stupid things done in bad times so funny, but they are. Anything to take your mind off of the sadness is welcome, and then you grasp it like a drowning man does a floating raft or log.

"After a few minutes, we were quiet– Sano had joined the laughter some time after I started it– we'd heard a rattling coming from where Kenshin was, a rattling that sounded almost like stones clicking together repeatedly. I ran over, curious, and saw that Kenshin's teeth were chattering.

"It was a cool morning, not enough so to make anyone freeze, though. The sun was shining through the trees, falling to earth to feed the flowers that awaited it with heads tilted backwards. Nevertheless, Kenshin shivered and his teeth chattered. He'd need another blanket, at least, and I was worried. Chills in reasonably warm weather were never a good sign.

"Sano moved towards where Kenshin lay, and sat down beside the redheaded samurai. 'Kenshin,' he whispered. 'Kenshin, you gotta wake up. We all need you here, you did it last night, come on! Wake up again! Please, Kenshin.'

"Kenshin didn't stir for a while, except to shiver, and Sano laid down next to him, pressing against Kenshin to keep him warm.

"And then, just as I was leaving to get that extra blanket, Kenshin sat up a bit, opened his eyes, and spoke softly.

"'Sano?' he asked. 'Where's Sano?'

"Kenshin had sounded almost uncertain, almost as if he thought Sano would run off like he had on that night long ago. He stared down at his lap, where Sano's arm no longer lay, and said nothing more until he felt the warm hand of that arm now cupping his chin, bringing it upwards. Kenshin's eyes met two kind, brave brown eyes; Sano's eyes.

"The expression on Kenshin's face seemed impossible. How, many would ask, could one who is hurt and maybe dying smile so purely and brightly? I'm not sure of the answer myself, even now, after all this time.

"'I'm not leaving again, Kenshin,' he said firmly. 'So don't worry about that, ever.' Kenshin opened his mouth to reply, but Sano, knowing what he would say, put one finger on the redhead's lips. 'No, Kenshin. I won't let you leave, either; Death's gonna have to fight me to the end to take _you_.'

"Kenshin smiled again, his large violet eyes blinking sleepily. I left the room at this point to go get more blankets, but Sano told me later what had happened, or in my opinion, what had _finally_ happened.

"Kenshin had leaned up and kissed Sano on the lips. It was a short kiss, almost chaste but for the pressure put into it, hard and tender and loving at the same time. Sano had wanted so badly at that moment to just rip off all of Kenshin's clothing right then and there, but he didn't. He had more respect for Kenshin than that."

"Auntie Megumi?" Ayame asked, interrupting Megumi's memories.

"Yes?" She looked down at the girl who was like a daughter to her.

"Did they _ever_...?" Ayame blushed. "You know..."

"No," Megumi replied. "No, not while Kenshin was still hurt so badly. At one point, he thought himself well again, but that didn't happen for months. And these days that I'm telling you about right now were some of the most important."

Ayame nodded, indicating that she wanted Megumi to continue. Megumi did.

"As I was saying, Sano was overcome by his love for the redheaded samurai, who had broken the kiss and now lay sleeping in his love's arms. He began to cry softly, in anger at himself more than anything. In his mind, had he not run off from Kenshin on that summer night, Kenshin would have told the younger man that he loved him sooner. They'd have had more time together, more tragedies, but many more joyous times.

"And now it might all be cut short.

"I myself am not so sure of the truth of Sano's reason for his anger at himself. If the two had indeed confessed their love for each other in a drunken haze, both might have been afraid that it was the alcohol talking. Kenshin, at least, would have been too embarrassed to speak to Sano for days.

"As it was, though, the two were united. Not too soon after Kenshin fell asleep, Sano did as well; the emotions had run high at the dojo for several days, and Sano had gotten barely any sleep. When I came back in, carrying two extra blankets that I'd managed to find in some closet, I saw them laying together, on Kenshin's bed, Sano with his arms around Kenshin and Kenshin with his face buried in Sano's chest. I covered them both, and went to bed myself, even though it was only mid-afternoon.

"When I woke up, it was because of a knock on the door of the sickroom. I thought it was much later than it really was, and I opened the door, preparing to yell angrily at whoever was disturbing the three of us in the middle of the night.

"It was Yahiko, carrying tea. That he hadn't dropped it was a miracle, and I realized that I was so surprised at the time that I would have taken that tea no matter _how _late at night he'd knocked.

"'Can I see him?' Yahiko asked, pushing the tray with the tea set on it into my hands and rushing past me.

"I replied that it would be fine, as long as Kenshin wasn't disturbed; at least, I would have if Yahiko hadn't gasped in wonder.

"'They're...' he indicated Sano and Kenshin. 'Are they... You know... Uh...'

"I nodded, almost imperceptibly, but Yahiko caught it. Mark my words, girls, he'll be a fine samurai when he grows up. He can detect the tiniest motion, the smallest change in mood.

"'Oh, you missed dinner,' he offered an explanation for the tea. 'It's just over, and Kaoru wanted me to bring in some tea for you guys. She also wanted me to ask you if she could come and see Kenshin.'

"My blood ran cold. I didn't need her to see Kenshin and Sano resting in each others' arms; that would definitely make her even angrier than she had been. Yahiko seemed to sense this as well, because he broke into my anxious thoughts.

"'How 'bout I tell her that he's asleep?' He indicated Kenshin. 'Or that he's just too tired to take any visitors?'

"I nodded, and leaned over and kissed Yahiko on top of his head. Without him, Kaoru surely would have burst in, saw Sano and Kenshin holding each other, screamed, and woke Kenshin. He didn't need that. _I_ didn't need that.

"Yahiko left, and the tea remained undrunk by my bed, for as soon as Yahiko had gone, I fell back into sleep. This time, I wasn't disturbed.

"I awoke the next morning. Sleep seemed to have a tight hold on my eyes, and I had to shake my head a few times to get some sense back into myself. I wasn't sure how late in the morning it was, but the sun was already quite strong, and Sano and Kenshin were already awake.

"They were sitting close together, more so than usual, and having some type of hushed conversation. I couldn't hear what was being said; I only know it now because Sano told me later. In any case, I didn't occupy myself with it, and left to put the now-cold tea in some other room besides the one I'd been sleeping in.

"It turns out that they had woken up only about an hour before I did, and had been carrying on a conversation for several minutes when I awoke.

"'Hey, Kenshin?' Sano had asked.

"Kenshin turned so that he was looking up into Sano's face, but still held in Sano's strong arms. He felt so protected there, so safe from all earthly troubles.

"'Uhh... This might seem a little awkward,' Sano said quietly. Kenshin's violet eyes had a curious look in them, though, so Sano continued. 'I just... I need to know who did this to you.'

"Kenshin paled, and Sano held him closer, calming him down. 'Oh, Sanosuke,' the red-haired samurai whispered. 'No, no, you don't need me to tell you. You shouldn't be burdened down with the weight of hatred and vengeance, that you shouldn't. We both were once, and that is a heavy and ugly thing to carry on one's back.'

"'Please?' Sano replied. 'Kenshin, you have to have more faith in me than that. I won't hunt anyone down. I won't. Please believe me, Kenshin. Please tell me.'

"Kenshin sighed unhappily. 'Sano, what if one of your friends had done this to me? Then what? What if it had been someone you liked? You'd never be able to trust that person again. You'd never be able to trust _anyone_ again, Sano! I can't be responsible for that, that I can't!'

"'Well, _is_ it one of my friends?' Sano asked. Kenshin shook his head, and the dark-haired man continued. 'Please, just tell me, Kenshin! What if he tries to hurt me next?'

"Kenshin looked up unhappily, torn between giving Sano information that could lead to someone's death or possibly causing the taller man to get hurt because information was withheld from him. 'It was... It was Gohae.'

"'_What?_' Sano's eyes widened in disbelief. 'Gohae as in 'the man who can't use either thumb' Gohae? The false hitokiri battousai?' Kenshin winced, and Sano realized too late that 'hitokiri battosai' was not a phrase Kenshin wanted to hear; even after a long time, it brought too many painful memories. 'How...?'

"'Strapped to his wrists,' the red-haired samurai replied. 'I _do_ give him credit for that much, that I do. It was fairly ingenious.'

"Sano gave him a disbelieving look. 'Kenshin,' he said, 'if you could fight him off when he was at his _best_ with a sword, why couldn't you fight him off when he had a blade strapped to his _wrists?_'

"Kenshin looked away, shame and sadness filling his pale face. It was a while before he spoke, and when he did, Sano came to regret pushing the issue this much.

"'Oh, Sano,' the small redhead answered sadly, quietly, 'I _couldn't_ fight back.' He let his head fall limply against Sano's chest. 'Gohae said he'd go into the village and kill everyone he saw with his sword. I couldn't let him take innocent lives, that I couldn't. Better that it be my one life than the lives of a hundred.'

"Sano gave Kenshin an angry look. '_Never_ let me hear you say that again. You think your life's not _important?_ You think _my _life and Kaoru's life and all of the other lives you saved aren't _important?_'

"Kenshin looked shocked. 'I never _said_ that, Sanosuke! Where are you getting all of this from?'

"'You've saved more lives than you've taken, by now,' Sano answered, taking Kenshin's small hands in one of his own larger ones. 'If you'd died during the Revolution, or died while you were wandering, I'd still be a street fighter. Or maybe I wouldn't. Maybe someone would have killed me by now, because I never met you, so I never met Anji, so I never learned-'

"There was a pause as Sano stared at Kenshin, who had wrenched his hands from his lover's and was now covering his ears.

"'Alright, Sano,' Kenshin said, uncovering his ears and giving the younger man a pleading, tired look. 'I'm alive, aren't I? We're together. That's all that matters to me now.'

"Sano had a faraway look in his eyes, glazed over, almost as though he'd retreated to some quiet corner of his mind to think. He _did_ feel guilty now for forcing the matter upon Kenshin, very guilty indeed. He also felt guilty, though, that he'd allowed Kenshin to get into this situation in the first place, so hurt and in so much pain.

"Suddenly, Sano seemed to return to himself. As he did, though, he stood up. Kenshin stayed on the floor, staring up at the tall man, a betrayed look in his large violet eyes. Sano apparently ran out of the room; he almost knocked me over as I came back in. His eyes were terrible to behold, filled with a dark type of anger and hate the likes of which I'd never seen before and not seen since. I heard his feet pounding along the dojo floor, and it was only seconds after he'd rushed by that the pounding grew fainter. He was running so fast that he was halfway to town in several minutes, or so I was told by indignant neighbors whom he'd shoved past.

"I, personally, was more worried for Kenshin. I didn't know what had happened. Had he said something wrong? Did Sano realize how much he'd actually have to support Kenshin? Sano had told me about his time in the Sekihoutai and his beloved Captain Sagara. So I knew that he only ran like that from one thing, and that was the death of someone he loved. It was, I think, his way of clearing his head, his way of using mindless running to keep himself from doing something stupid and self-destructive.

"I ran into the sickroom, expecting to see Kenshin lying dead. He was alive, though, and sorry looking. He sat on the floor, his big eyes misty with tears. I no longer felt concern for Sano, only anger. He'd run off for some stupid reason, I was sure, and left his lover here on the floor when that lover needed him most.

"'What's wrong?' I asked, kneeling in front of Kenshin. He only shook his head, and I repeated the question.

"He still didn't answer. 'Are you feeling ill?' I asked. 'Do you have a fever? Why did Sano leave? What _happened?_'

"Kenshin looked at me blankly, and then a light of recognition began to shine in his eyes. It was as though he'd just realized I was there, and this disturbed me deeply. Wherever his mind had been, it had been a dark, sad place indeed.

"I hoped that Kenshin might answer my questions once he realized I was there, but I had no such luck. He answered, but I couldn't make sense of what he said until much later.

"'Gohae,' was the one word that Kenshin said, and then he fell back on to his bed, and stayed there, not moving or making a sound.

"'Gohae?' I asked. '_Gohae?_ What does that mean, Kenshin? Please, I need to know if I'm going to find Sano!'

"He didn't move. It was eery, the way his eyes stared vacantly up at the ceiling, and I was very unnerved.

"I was very curious, though, and my curiosity won over the chills that went down my spine. 'Kenshin. Kenshin! I _have_ to know what you mean if you want Sano back here! Do you mean Gohae, as in the man who claimed to be the hitokiri battousai? Sano's in _danger, _Kenshin, he could _die!_ Are you really that selfish?'

"I was raging, and I knew I shouldn't. It wasn't Kenshin's fault that Sano had run off. I was taking my frustration and fear out on Kenshin, and I felt awful for doing that.

"No matter how much I pleaded with Kenshin to speak, no matter how much I shouted and cajoled, he just lay there as if he was dead, his only movement being the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. Something in him _had_ died, and would be reborn only when Sano came back. That thing was his hope, his simple dream that he and Sano would live together normally one day.

"I slumped against the wall hopelessly, sitting next to Kenshin. Kaoru hadn't come back in yet, and I would have been glad to have any company at all, even her angry, defensive presence. I learned later that she avoided me because she was so ashamed of how she'd acted before; she didn't want to risk another tense confrontation while emotions were still running so high at the dojo.

"I would have cried, but I didn't want Kenshin to wake up and see me. He'd have lost all hope for sure, and if that had happened... Well, this story would be that much shorter and sadder. He was still running a fever, and I was positive that the only thing keeping him alive was Sano's love. I felt so angry at the younger man then; it was the height of selfishness to just leave Kenshin without any explanation, just running off and deserting the person who was so dependent upon him.

"Late afternoon came, then twilight, and Sano didn't return. I slept, exhausted from worrying and waiting, my muscles tensed to run over to Sano and either slap him or treat his wounds, depending upon what condition he returned in. My sleep was dreamless, and light, although it was uninterrupted by anything for a long time. The night was so quiet; not even an insect made a noise, sensing the sad mood that hung over the entire dojo like a thick fog. Indeed, like a fog, it had almost completely isolated us. The dojo was normally busy every day, but since Kenshin had been hurt, people seemed to feel the gloom that had settled, and respectfully left us in peace. The sun still shone and the world went on outside, but neither Sano nor Kenshin nor I saw any of it.

"Then, so late at night that it was probably early morning, the door to the sickroom opened. I looked up, expecting to see Kaoru or Yahiko with some urgent piece of news, but instead, a tall form stood in the doorway. For a second, I was scared, but then I took in the outline. I saw that there was shaggy hair, pants that were a little too short, a slender yet muscular body.

"Sano was back. I lit a candle, just to be sure, and I almost didn't recognize him. His prized jacket hung over his right arm, and I wondered why he wasn't wearing it; the night was cold. I moved the candle and gasped, seeing why. Sano's left arm was a bloody mess, his face little better. He had a black eye and a split lip, and I was truly frightened that I'd have both of them here, dying side-by-side. I moved the candle downward, illuminating his body, and I gasped.

"The right side of his chest was red and swollen, indicating that he'd broken at least one rib. Sano had to be in such excruciating pain that it would have been nearly impossible to walk back here, even if he was only a short distance away. My concern for him outweighed my anger that he'd run off; that argument could wait until he was bandaged and more comfortable.

"I noticed then that he was moving yet again. I wanted to shout at him, to call him an idiot, to ask if he was going to leave Kenshin again; that is what I thought he would do. He didn't, though. Something had been driving Sano to come home despite his horrible injuries and pain, something with long red hair, purple eyes, and a cross-shaped scar.

"Sano winced as he knelt beside where Kenshin still lay, staring up at the ceiling. He took some of the red hair that I'd let loose from the ponytail much earlier in this tragedy– I had to wash that hair _some_ time– and stroked it. It was growing paler just as Kenshin grew paler and sicker, but it was still so soft and smooth. I saw tears drop from two deep-brown eyes, tears that fell onto the pale, scarred face below them, and rolled off quietly.

"'He's gone, isn't he?' Sano asked me, his voice sounding tortured. 'Died while I was out, fighting like some stupid bastard.'

"I didn't know how to reply. I wasn't sure if Kenshin was dead, didn't even know what he'd been doing, staring like that since Sano had left.

"Now Sano talked to Kenshin. 'Hey,' he whispered, stroking Kenshin's unscarred cheek with two fingers. 'Hey, I avenged you, Kenshin. Even if you're gone,' and here Sano couldn't continue for a few minutes, 'even if you're gone, I love you. I still love you, and I don't think you're a coward, and I'm sorry. I fell. I'm falling right now, and what am I going to do if I can't catch you, huh?' His voice was shaking with emotion.

"Now, it was my turn to stare at Kenshin. One of his hands was moving slowly up at the same time that a smile was just as slowly crossing his face. Sano was transfixed with the redhead's lips, so transfixed that he didn't see the hand until it came to rest on top of Sano's.

"He gasped, and then Kenshin seemed to return to life. His violet eyes blinked quickly several times, and he sat up so that he was facing Sano.

"Sano was overjoyed at this new development, and made it known, pulling Kenshin to him with his unhurt arm, and kissing the rurouni hard on the lips. Kenshin responded, and they stayed like that for almost a minute before I heard a gasp from the doorway.

"Apparently, it wasn't as early as I had thought. One of the dojo's residents had overcome her embarrassment at her earlier behavior and decided to give Kenshin a visit. I whirled around, and gasped myself at who it was– the worst possible person to see what had just happened.

"Kaoru stood aghast in the doorway, tears gathering in her eyes.

* * *

Hope you liked it! It's hard to update quickly, sophomore year's tough... Sorry. 


	3. Chapter 3

Bloodstained Spring Day

A/N: Here it is... The last and saddest chapter! There will be a sequel, I'm not sure when, though. I want to take a short break and work on the five other fanfictions that need attention. Anyway, thank you to all of you reviewers!

I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. (Siiiiiiigh...)

* * *

"It was too late for me to do anything about what Kaoru had already seen, far too late for me to give any sort of signal to the two of them to break the kiss. I'd just have to hope that I could convince her that it wasn't what she thought she'd seen; although I'm not proud of this, I've been told that I'm an excellent liar.

"She didn't look like she'd take any of it, though. Jealousy had a firm hold on her now, jealousy that was for something she didn't even have claim to in the first place.

"'What is _this?_' she asked in a small, cold voice. I could tell she was hurting, but that was no excuse for how cruel she was about to be.

"Kenshin and Sano _had _broken apart now, about three minutes too late, and they stared back at Kaoru.

"Kenshin, however, quickly turned his gaze to the ground. 'I'm sorry, Miss Kaoru. I... I...' He looked up at Sano pleadingly, silently begging the younger man to think of _some_ excuse.

"Sano did arguably the worst possible thing. Wrapping his arms around Kenshin, he pulled the rurouni towards himself again and said, 'Sorry, Missy.'

"I winced, although Kaoru didn't see me; I stood behind her. That had been an awful thing to say, and a cruel thing to do, but defensible. I didn't know whether to go over and yell at Sano for doing something that stupid and worsening the situation, or congratulate him for actually standing up to Kaoru when she was so emotional and angry.

"'This isn't _love,_' she replied, using that same cold little girl's voice. 'This can't be _love._ Kenshin loves _me._ He loves _women, _not _you,_ Sano. He's not _like_ that, and if he is...' She choked back a sob, wiping furiously at her eyes and trying to stay strong.

"I went to put a comforting arm around her shoulders, but she shook me off, giving me an angry, tearful glare. I realized that I had no right to intrude here; this was her territory and hers alone. It was and would always be her inner battle to fight, that battle between a possessive love and a respectful love, a freeing love. There is a difference, girls, remember this. Whoever would possess you, doesn't love you; who would let you free, holds you in highest esteem.

"But Kaoru was inexperienced and young. I wouldn't have expected her to know much about love at all, being only several years older than you, Ayame. I would have pitied her, tried to help her sort herself out, if not for the next thing that came out of her mouth.

"'If he is...like _that..._' Another choked sob. 'He- he is no longer alive for me.'"

Suzume gasped in horror that her idol could ever have said something so cruel. Her eyes and mouth opened wide, and one hand flew to that small mouth in shock.

"No!" Suzume whispered. "No, Auntie Kaoru couldn't have said that! No, no, she's too nice. She didn't _really_ say that, right, Auntie Megumi? That was just put in for empha... E-emph... Empha..." The girl looked up at Megumi helplessly.

"Emphasis," Megumi replied with a small smile. "And yes, Kaoru _did_ actually say that. She isn't proud of how she acted back then– no one would be– but she knows, and I know, that she did indeed act that way. Now, if I may continue?" She looked down at the girls, who both nodded furiously.

"There was a collective gasp form all of us, it seemed, except for Kenshin. He was always so humble, always acting so lowly– or so it seemed to us then. Later, I realized that he had ceased to care for himself after he'd been trained to become a killing machine. I knew that he'd been taught to kill at all costs, even that of his own life.

"'Kenshin hung his head, his wounded body leaning against Sanosuke's also-wounded one. 'I am sorry, Miss Kaoru,' he said softly. 'I truly am. I do love you...' Her face lit up, and Kenshin took a deep breath. 'But as a sister and a friend. Miss Kaoru, you know that I would always die for you. I would put myself through the ultimate pain for you, for all of you.' He looked around at we who surrounded him. 'But Sanosuke...' Kenshin smiled sadly. 'Sanosuke has my heart, that he does. He is my everything, the reason that I'm still alive. Miss Kaoru, you have to truly _live_, and to do that, give me up. Let your dreams of us together go. I'm sorry, that I am, but I'm too old, I'm too ill...'

"Kenshin seemed to sag against his tall lover, but struggled back up, his eyes a mixture of pain and concentration. I moved to help him, concerned that he would strain himself, but he stopped me with an almost imperceptible shake of his head.

"'Miss Kaoru,' he murmured. 'These are my first steps as a man brought back from the grave, my first steps since being wounded so badly. They are for you.' He walked forward, slowly moving across the room to Kaoru, putting his arms out as if to hold her to him.

"He reached her after what seemed like an eternity. For Sano and myself, every step the redhead had taken had been a never-ending agony, a torture beyond anything either of us could imagine. The pain in Kenshin's face was etched so clearly, and we almost knew what was coming now, what would have to happen. Kenshin, in his utter kindness, would never have thought Kaoru to do what she did; he had too much faith in her. In a way, he really was her older sibling: blindly protecting her, blindly loving her, unable to see her faults behind the mask with which she covered them.

"Laying his hands on her shoulders, he leaned forward, about to kiss her on the forehead, about to show her that he still loved her, but not romantically, _never_ romantically.

"She pushed him, and he fell backwards, such an expression of pain and betrayal on his face that it was enough to haunt my dreams for months afterwards. Kenshin never hit the ground, though. Sano was there, like he had been all those months ago at the Akabeko, holding Kenshin with his good arm and not letting the samurai fall.

"Kaoru blushed, both in embarrassment at what she'd just done, and anger. She turned on her heel and stomped out, slamming the sickroom door behind her. I'd have to seek her out later, have to try to make her see reason.

"There were more pressing matters at hand, however, not the least of which being the horrible condition that Sano had returned in. He was covered in blood, and so Kenshin was too; the two of them had had so much physical contact since the tall brunette returned. I knew that I had to treat Sano first– I didn't want him to get an infection, or lose any more blood– but there was no way that I'd be able to treat him in time to bring Kenshin to the bath house and help him wash up before his clothes were completely ruined.

"At that point, Yahiko burst in, a ball of curious, nosey energy. He'd heard the argument between Kaoru and I, no doubt, and ran in, looking for trouble, I think _hoping_ for it. That was one of his great weaknesses; in fact, it still is. He's a strong young man, no doubt of that, but one day he has to pick a fight that he can't win. Sano had just picked one such fight, and that was with Death itself. Never try to fight it, my dears. It will catch us all in the end."

Megumi looked down to see the little girls that were like daughters to her staring up at her sadly. The doctor knew that they could tell how sad she was, and there was a rankling feeling of guilt growing in the back of her mind. She felt that she had no right to be so morbid with these girls, still so young, so naive; she said so.

Hugging the girls to her, Megumi continued. "I'm sorry. It's not my place to say things like that. I'm a doctor; my work is with life. Anyway, where were we? Yahiko? Right...

"I needed to talk to Sano privately, and by walking in, Yahiko had basically volunteered to take Kenshin to the bath and help him get all of the blood off himself. I never knew how much my redheaded friend hated having any type of grime on him until now, especially blood; it reminded him of the battlefields, of the past which he wished to escape. To him, mere dirt took on the symbolic meaning of the taint that he'd taken by killing so many, and just as he wanted to take that taint off of his soul, he also wanted to take the taint of dirt and dust off of his skin.

"'Yahiko?' I called, and the boy froze, looking like he'd been caught committing some crime. 'Come here.'

"The expression on his face was so nervous that I felt guilty just for calling his name, and the way he looked up at me– _submissively!_– was the one way I've never seen him look at anyone again. He started to mumble an apology for interrupting, but I shook my head, smiling in what I hoped was a reassuring way.

"'You're fine,' I whispered. 'All I need you to do is take Kenshin out to the bath and help him wash off. I have to bandage Sano up, and get to the bottom of something.'

"Yahiko nodded, happy that I wasn't angry with him and that he hadn't incurred any punishment, and led Kenshin out, supporting him. I worriedly wondered how Kaoru, in the emotional state she was in, was running the house without Kenshin there to calm her. Had she been hurting Yahiko? I doubted it, but still... She was unpredictable when her emotions ran high.

"I went to my medical kit and started to check out and bandage up Sano's wounds. My guesses had mostly been right; on his right side, he'd broken two ribs and bruised one. His left side was just as bad– his arm had been cut up horribly, almost as if by a sword or maybe a whip, and his eye was dark with a purple bruise and nearly swollen shut. I could put ice on that and the split lip, but that was all; thankfully, none of the bones around either the eye or the lip had been broken.

"I disinfected and bandaged everything that I could, found some old pillows in one corner of the room, and propped Sano up on one side of his and Kenshin's bed so that the tall man's right side and left arm were immobile. He yawned loudly, and I sympathized. In his place, I'd want to sleep too, hurt and tired as he was. Soon, he drifted off to sleep, but it was a restless, frightened sleep. I was afraid that he might hurt himself again just by the way he moved around, so fretfully and sadly.

"After about an hour, Yahiko returned with Kenshin. The boy had a pained look on his face, one that he was trying but failing to mask with a stoic expression. I helped him put Kenshin to bed, and I covered both of the sleeping men with blankets.

"Tonight, it seemed, they both were so tired that neither one would have nightmares and cry out in their sleep. Kenshin and Sano remained so haunted by their pasts that I wondered if they had to be this tired to actually drift off successfully.

"As I mused, I noticed that Yahiko was slipping out of the room silently; I called him back in. We had to talk, and this talk would be serious, nothing that I could say with others awake.

"'Yahiko!' I called softly, so as not to wake my two sleeping patients. 'We have to talk.' He returned, and we both sat on the edge of my makeshift bed.

"'What is it?' he asked, not looking at me. 'Did I do something wrong?' His voice wasn't as energetic as it had been weeks ago, before this whole thing happened.

"'No, that talk is for Kaoru, and maybe Sanosuke,' I replied. 'You are merely a mystery to me! Please, tell me if anyone– _anyone_ in this house or outside of it– is hurting you. Yahiko, you're like a son to me, and all mothers have a responsibility to protect their own.'

"Yahiko looked at the floor. I noticed how his eyes were glistening wetly, filling with sad, pearly tears, and I worried for him; I'd told the truth. In fact, I'd always hoped, and still do now, dear girls, that I would come to be the mother he'd lost, and he would come to be the son I cannot have."

Megumi stopped, seeing the curious way that both of her young friends were staring at her. Children's stares always unnerved her slightly; they seemed to be able to stare for hours and never blink.

"You can't have...?" Ayame trailed off, wondering if she'd perhaps broached a sensitive topic.

Megumi smiled sadly. "No. I will never have children. I was..._ill_ when I was younger." And that was all she would say on that topic.

The lady doctor continued her story. "It was about a minute, if not several, before Yahiko replied to my question. What he said shocked me deeply; had I been standing, I'd have needed to sit down.

"'Kaoru's-- she's– she's making me do some extra housework, that's all. I'm just tired.' And Yahiko gave one of those boyish, life-filled grins that he carries off so well; it was a lie.

"It hurt me to see that Yahiko would lie like that, even pretending to be happy to protect Kaoru. I'm fairly sure I knew what was happening here: Yahiko, the only one of we so-called 'Kenshin-gumi' left in the house besides Kaoru, had become the girl's whipping boy. Not literally, but I wondered when she would start hurting him.

"I was worried for Yahiko, but just as much so, if not more, for Kaoru. It had always been in her nature to be violent and impulsive, sometimes even clingy; she was really very like a small child. I could understand why, though: Kaoru's parents had died when she was young, and it was quite obvious that she'd want to go back to an age at which she was insulated by them both from the world around her.

"Getting back to the conversation, I decided to probe a little deeper. 'How much work, Yahiko? What chores? Who did these chores before they were added to your workload?' I hoped my voice was soothing and reassuring, helping him to come out of his ashamed silence and speak to me. I never could bear to see him, or either of you girls, hurt.

"'Oh, I can take it,' Yahiko said nonchalantly.

"Alarms went off for me, screaming that all was not right. Yahiko was obviously trying to seem tough for his own benefit _and _for that of Kaoru, but I saw through it.

"He knew I'd seen his over-exuberant mistake, and turned his head away and down. 'Kenshin's chores,' he whispered softly, ashamed. 'I'm– I'm sorry I lied, Megumi... I don't want you to– Please, _please_ don't be angry with Kaoru! She hurts so much right now that I– I–' His small frame, just beginning to take on the musculature of a young man, was shaking with sobs. 'She's just like me! I lost what I loved... When I lost my mother, I became a pickpocket. I didn't care about anything! Please, just let her get over this on her own.'

"I didn't tell him of my suspicions, of my deep fears that Kaoru _wouldn't_ come out of this on her own. She loved Kenshin as though he was life itself and she wasn't going to allow that to slip from her any time soon. Immature as she could be, Kaoru was also smart, and sometimes used that intelligence deviously. I worried that she might try to hurt Sano or split the newly-united lovers; if that happened, Kenshin's fate was sealed. Sano was the only thing keeping him alive.

"I sent Yahiko off to bed after hugging him reassuringly, and then retired to my own bed. I wouldn't sleep for hours yet. No, I spent that time thinking, working on a theory, as all doctors and scientists must invariably do. What I came up with astounded and unnerved me.

"Kaoru would have to choose between her want of Kenshin and her love of him. If she wanted him, she'd part him from Sano and the redhead would quickly die; if she loved him, she'd leave him in my and Sano's care.

"My final thought before sleep took me: _It will be interesting to see how this dramatic tugging game plays out._

"I woke up next morning, at what I assumed was a fairly late hour as the sun was quite high in the sky. Kenshin was still asleep, but Sano was sitting, propped up on his pillows, staring ahead of him guiltily. He was thinking about why he'd left, I knew it; I also knew that I should talk to him now, while he was reflecting on it. He'd be more eager to talk about it at this point.

"Approaching him, I knelt beside him, and spoke. 'Sano,' my voice was soft, but determined. 'We should talk.'

"Sano winced, knowing what this conversation would be about. He felt horribly guilty for running out on Kenshin and what he'd done while he was missing; I could figure _that_ out from the way he kept sighing and not meeting anyone's gaze.

"'Yeah,' he replied. 'We should.'

"'I need to know a few things. First, who hurt Kenshin? Second, why did you run out on us like that? Lastly, what _happened_ while you were out there?'

"Sano looked at his knees as he heard the questions. After a while, he mumbled a single word: 'Gohae.'

"Now it was my turn to be embarrassed, and I was, a hot pink flush coming to my cheeks to show it. Kenshin _had_ been telling me who hurt him when I asked. I'd had no right whatsoever to keep harassing him for information he'd already given, but, like a fool, I couldn't figure that out.

"'Gohae as in,' Sano paused to take a breath, 'as in the false battousai. He hurt Kenshin.'

"I nodded to show that I understood, and that I wanted him to continue, which he did: 'I left to find Gohae and kill him. He died, but there was...a fight.'

"Sano, although he was giving helpful information, was being very vague. 'You're ashamed that you killed him, aren't you?' I asked.

"He nodded, still not looking into my eyes, and I put a comforting hand on his non-wounded arm. He shook it off, though, and he told me later that he'd felt ashamed that someone as good as a doctor was trying to comfort someone as bad as he.

"I'll never know why Kenshin chose to wake up then, but he did, and in a panic. Violet eyes opened wide, glassy with sleep, tears, and illness, and the small rurouni looked over and clung to Sano as though the taller man might be pulled away at any moment.

"'Sano! Oh, Sano,' he said, 'I had the worst dream, that I did. I dreamt that you killed a man for my sake, that you hurt _yourself_ for my sake! I'd never be able to forgive myself if–'

"He stopped when he saw the stricken look on Sano's face, felt the way Sano was half-heartedly rubbing the smaller man's back. As soon as he saw Kenshin peering into his eyes, Sano looked down, as much from shame as to try to hide what he'd done. The young man told me later that the shame was so great that it seemed to be gnawing at his soul, and he shuddered at its memory.

"The two words that came from Sano's mouth then, the two simple, small words, seemed so weighty. I had no doubt that Kenshin had already forgiven Sano not only for everything he'd already done in life but for everything he _would_ do, but Kenshin was not as kind to himself. He always took other's wrongs and internalized them, blaming himself, just as Sano did with Kenshin's illness after– well, I'll speak of that when I come to it, and that's not for a while yet.

"'I did,' Sano whispered.

"Silence, as heavy and oppressive as a smothering woolen cloak, seemed to fall over the room. Kenshin stared, aghast, at his lover. Sano was still rubbing Kenshin's back, making small circles with the palm of his hand, but now it seemed to be more of a reflex than anything. I felt a dread building up in the pit of my stomach, the type of dread that springs from having no idea of what was coming next.

"'Why?' Kenshin asked. 'Gohae could have changed, that he could have. It wasn't necessary to kill him. We could have just given him over to the police!' He paused for breath, still leaning against Sano, although I got the feeling that Kenshin was vaguely angry with the taller man. 'And you're hurt. What if you'd been _killed,_ Sanosuke? What if Gohae was as evil as you seemed to think, and he came after us relentlessly? I don't want you to die, Sano. No, I won't have someone else I love dying for my sake!'

"'I just wanted to protect you!' Sano replied. The tears that were coming to his eyes were present in his voice also. 'You're everything to me, Kenshin, you and this headband.' Sano touched his headband unconsciously, and then reached back down to hold Kenshin. 'The Sekihoutai is my past, and you're my present and future. I need you, please see that... I can't let you go unavenged!'

"Kenshin lifted up one hand, and stroked Sano's face tiredly. 'Please don't say that.' It was just a whisper, but it hurt Sano more deeply than Kenshin intended it to. 'I'm not worthy of being avenged. I just wanted to live peacefully, but chances are that I never will be allowed to.'

"Sano was angry with Kenshin, not because Kenshin had insulted Sano in any way, but because Kenshin seemed to care so little for his own life. It was quite typical for the dark-haired man with the fiery temper to be angry at someone for disregarding something he loved, but I'd never quite seen this before. I didn't want a fight, and I didn't want either of them stressing themselves out and becoming ill. In Kenshin's case– he already had an infection and all of his wounds to deal with– it could be deadly.

"'Come on,' Sano muttered angrily. 'Stop being so damned stupid!'

"'Kenshin looked up at Sano questioningly. He wasn't sure if he'd heard what he thought he did, and not being someone who was quick to jump to conclusions, he waited for Sano to get even angrier and repeat himself. That was one of his– Sano's– major weaknesses; the man allowed anger to cloud his judgement and take him over. He was similar to Kaou in that respect, except that Kaoru's anger was more of a childish anger, and Sano's anger was deadly and like a fire, burning away everything in its path.

"'Kenshin, you're being _dumb._' Sano was going to repeat himself, just as Kenshin had thought. 'You know I had to go and kill Gohae! He deserved to suffer for what he did to you! Did you _want_ to die? Did you _want_ him to come around here and finish off what he'd started? It'd be _real damned easy, _huh– all of us people here, sitting around with such love for this suicidal man, we'd be _great_ hostages! Yeah, he could kill _eight_ birds with one stone... You know: you, me, Megumi, the Missy, Yahiko, Dr. Gensai, Ayame, Suzume! Are you _that_ selfish? Would you sacrifice all of us just to keep your pretty hands clean?'

"There were tears in Kenshin's eyes as Sano berated him, tears that Kenshin couldn't let fall or else they'd show weakness. 'How do you even know that Gohae would have come back here? He only wanted to kill me, Sano. I'm the only one here that he's sworn vengeance upon, that I am.' Despite his efforts, Kenshin's voice shook as he spoke, showing how sad and tired the samurai was.

"Sano shook his head. It was obvious that he disagreed with everything Kenshin had said, and if it had been anyone but Kenshin, he'd have cut them off, but this time, he waited until Kenshin had finished to reply:

"'You know that road that leads directly to the dojo? That shortcut through the woods that goes to the fishing pond? That's where I found him, Kenshin. This is the only place he could have been going, and he would have killed everyone in his way or who'd ever _gotten_ in his way. That's most of us here!' Sano was going to go too far, I knew it and I was right.

"'Couldn't you have just–'

"This time, the tall brunette _did _cut Kenshin off. 'No. _No!_ Kenshin, what is _wrong _with you? Do you not understand what I'm trying to say? Is it not connecting? 'Cause if it's not, maybe you got hurt in more places than we all thought. Is your head okay, or are your true feelings coming to light? Did you ever _really_ care about us, or was that just some act you were putting on so you wouldn't be lonely?'

"He really _had_ gone too far this time. He'd hurt Kenshin, perhaps more than he could ever make up for, and I could see that in Kenshin's eyes. Before, they'd just carried a sadness in them that was never truly covered up by any positive emotion; now, his expression made me doubt whether or not the rurouni would ever smile again.

"Then, Kenshin did something that none of us had expected, a small action, to be sure, but weighted with so much significance. He moved back over to his side of the bed, out of Sano's grasp, and the tall man just let him go. I hoped that this romance, one of the only good things, in my opinion, to come out of the Meiji Revolution, wasn't over. It was hope for all of us, hope that both Kenshin _and_ Sano might survive.

"Kenshin moved onto his side, burying his face in the pillows separating him and Sano, and spoke quietly. 'I thought you loved me, Sanosuke. I guess I was wrong, that I was. Maybe something was, as you said, _not connecting._'

"Those pillows were wet with tears by the time night fell. Sano just laid on his back, staring off into space. He wanted to go to Kenshin, to take his lover in his arms, but pride was preventing him. It is an awful, stubborn thing to do, girls, not to show love to someone merely because they disagreed with you; awful, stubborn, and sometimes dangerous, as we all were about to see.

"It was still quite early in the night when Kenshin ceased to move. At first, I was happy; his shoulders weren't shaking, so perhaps he had stopped crying. Perhaps everything would be better from here on in. After a few seconds, though, I realized that this was not the case. He was still, completely still, and I ran to his side.

"Kenshin wasn't breathing. He appeared to have been struggling mightily to do so, to do anything so that he wouldn't die and leave important things left unsaid. I had to help him breathe again; I breathed into his mouth, and tried to make him exhale, which he did. He still wasn't breathing on his own, though, so I repeated what I'd done, several more times.

"After what felt like an eternity, he was breathing on his own again, albeit very shallowly. As sad as it made me, I feared that Kenshin wouldn't survive the night; it would have to be another sleepless vigil for me, ending either happily or tragically as the sun came up. I was never as nervous to see the sun as I was that night, but also never as happy as when it came up the next morning.

"I realized, after little more than half the night had passed, that Sano had sat up and was watching Kenshin as closely as I was, and with a tender, sad look in his eyes. 'If there's anything you want to say, say it now,' I told him. 'I don't know if he's going to live to see the sunrise.'

"Sano choked back a sob as I said that. He was ashamed of how angry he'd been at Kenshin; perhaps another time would have been better for such an argument, but not this time. No, not while Kenshin was sad and ill.

"Moving closer to Kenshin and taking the older man's small, almost childlike hands in his own, Sano began to speak. 'Kenshin,' he whispered lovingly in the redhead's ear. 'Kenshin, I'm sorry. I was an ass to treat you like that, and I know that doesn't even come close to describing how shabbily I treated you. I love you, like that's any type of excuse, I really, really do. It makes me furious when anyone hurts you, and that's why I...did what I did. Please get better– no, please _live_. I know you might never recover, I know you told me that, but you were doing so well! I'll take anything, as long as I can be with you and have you know that I love you. I'm sorry, Kenshin! I'm really, really sorry and I'd die for you! I know that's why you sacrificed yourself, for all of us here, but I couldn't see that and– _Damn_ it! Kenshin, if you die on me, I'll die too, so please come back. I know that my death would make you feel guilty, but I can't help it!' Sano was sobbing now, his tears wetting his good arm that he'd rested on his knees, which he'd drawn up to his chest. 'Please...'

"Kenshin didn't wake up right then, girls, if that's what you were expecting. No, that wouldn't happen for many hours yet, and only after a lot of crying and pleading. I myself think that Kenshin was lost within his own conscience; having gone there to investigate a matter of the heart, he awoke older, more dangerous tragedies and guilts that had been quite undisturbed for a while. However, when the sun rose that morning, shining in on the unconscious form of Kenshin and the dozing form of Sano, who was curled around his lover, I could have sworn that Kenshin looked happier than he had the night before. Not only this, but when I went to feel his hand, it was warm and felt living, and his breathing was stronger. Inwardly, I rejoiced, feeling very hopeful that Kenshin would live.

"Yahiko came into the sickroom several times, but I don't remember anything important that was said between us that time. I did, however, enlist him to watch over Kenshin while I took short naps. I assumed, and still do, that nothing miraculous happened while I slept, or else Yahiko's excited shouting would have awakened not only me, but anyone else in the house.

"Sano slept all day, worn out both by his injuries and his emotional strain. He didn't toss and turn like he had some times before, and I was glad– had he hurt his ribs, or irritated that one very cut up arm, it would have been awful. All in all, the day was quite uneventful, a quiet spot in the midst of a storm that tells you it's almost over.

"But when I describe that day, I'm saying nothing of the night. The sun went down, and several hours later, Sano woke up. There was a panic-stricken expression on his face as he looked around for Kenshin, and he didn't appear to calm down until he'd felt the rurouni, made sure the elfin-looking man wasn't just that: some spirit, some fragment of a dream that he'd loved too much to let go. Sano was rested, though, and we continued our vigil. Sano continued to lay next to Kenshin, but he wrapped his whole body around the smaller man, preventing him from catching cold. The nights were still chilly, remember; we still needed several blankets and, if possible, the warmth of a companion.

"As the morning drew near, I was beginning to lose hope that Kenshin would wake up. Was that just his body lying there? Had his soul already left us? We would find out shortly that it hadn't, but I was, for the time being, quite nervous.

"It was dawn, the birth of a new day, when Kenshin came back to us. He said later that the sun had guided him home, that the first rays of light illuminating the sadness on our faces had convinced him that his place truly was with us. Whether this was true, I didn't know then, and still don't know. I do know that when Kenshin awoke, the storm of which I spoke earlier seemed to have passed.

"On that day, the sun had barely come up when I noticed that Kenshin's eyelashes were fluttering, his eyes trying to open in a body that didn't want to cooperate. I stopped whatever movement I'd been making– walking, I think, to the door so that I could get some hot tea to replace the tea that had gotten cold overnight– and went to Kenshin's side. Sano was there, as he already had been, supporting Kenshin; caressing his cheeks, which were now thin and hollow, stroking the rurouni's scar. There was a flash of lavender, now another, now a longer one. Kenshin was going to win, he was going to live. I went to hold his hand, lending him my strength if he needed it.

"And then, those eyes stayed open. The purple hadn't faded; those eyes were the one thing still lively in that face. When Kenshin's red hair had grown pale, despite frequent washing and brushing, I'd thought that it would be the end of his fiery, persistent personality. I was wrong. His eyes held the power now, and those eyes would never fade.

"Sano laughed softly to himself, overcome with happiness, but stopped at the first suggestion of a sound coming from Kenshin's mouth. The tall, brash man would have to be very polite to Kenshin for a while, trying to make up for his rude words. Despite Kenshin's emphatic reassurances of the contrary, Sano felt that he'd been unduly cruel to his redheaded lover.

"Kenshin's lips barely moved as he tried to speak, and I knew that he was still either too tired or too ill to have good control over his body yet. 'S-s-s... Ssssss-ss-ssss... Ssss-saaaa? Saaaaa?'

Kenshin knew somehow that his lips and tongue weren't cooperating with him to form his lover's name. His eyes became bright with tears and he turned his head away, ashamed.

"It was a new and uncomfortable indignity for Kenshin to be so completely taken care of by others. When he'd been conscious, he'd at least helped me to take care of himself; he never allowed me to help bathe him, for instance, and when he'd been unconscious, he hadn't been awake to see and feel the indignity of being treated like a newborn baby. Kenshin would remain debilitated like this for about a month, getting significantly better each day. Others would have given up, faced with such illness and pain as Kenshin was, for with rehabilitation always comes pain. I would hear him screaming as he tried to do exercises to rebuild the muscles in his torso, which had been nearly ruined when he was attacked. I ran to him so many times, only to have him deny that he was in pain, deny that he needed me. It hurt to watch that skeletally thin man, who looked so pained already, continually push himself too far. And it angered me that Sano was just standing by, watching.

"'He needs to do this, Megumi,' Sano replied when I yelled at him one day. 'He feels that it's essential, that it's a penance for being such a burden or for being indirectly responsible for Gohae's death or something. I don't know. But I do know that all this pain is bringing back our old Kenshin. It's as if he's waking up, you know?'

"As surprised as I was, Sano was right. Kenshin seemed to have a noticeable brightness about him after two weeks, that hadn't been there for a long time. He seemed to be coming back to life, to be filling with his original color. After a month, he was well on the road to recovery. He wasn't fully recovered yet, nor would he be for a long time yet, but it was a start. And after two months, Sano's wounds had mostly healed, and we could walk together around the dojo and the town again.

"Our first sight upon leaving the sickroom was Yahiko running toward us, aiming for Sano. Smiling at us, at me especially, Sano used the arm that Gohae had wounded to pick up Yahiko and swing the boy around. _Thank you, Megumi,_ his eyes said. _I'm normal now. I'm myself._

"You two were there as well, girls, and you were laughing to see Kenshin alive and walking. He was able to pick you both up with a little effort, and you squealed and clapped your hands. Your grandfather– Doctor Gensai– told me that if I could heal a wound as bad as Kenshin's, I was a better doctor than him. Several townspeople were there as well; the news of their hero and friend being ill had concerned them greatly. Even Katsu was there with Hiko, who clapped Kenshin on the back and whispered in his former student's ear that he was proud of him.

"But there was one missing. And even as I noticed her absence, even as I was wondering where she was, Kaoru came walking slowly in, head bowed with shame. There were tears in her eyes, and I knew that she was miserable over how she'd been acting toward Kenshin. The lovely, bright kimono she was wearing seemed somehow to intensify that shame; perhaps it brought out the bright blush on her face, or perhaps it made her so noticeable to everyone else in the room that they all greeted her. I could tell that she didn't want that. _No,_ her quick, darting movements and ducked head said. _No, I'm not this sweet person you think that I am. I'm cruel, undeserving._

"She began to pick up speed when she saw Kenshin, running towards him and reaching him, looping her arms around his neck. She buried her face in his shirt until the shirt was wet with tears, and then she looked up, still crying.

"'Kenshin,' Kaoru whispered. 'Oh, Kenshin... I'm so sorry. I can never make up for what I did to you and Sano, just please...' She paused, sobbing, and Kenshin held her tighter. 'Please don't leave! I don't love you as I did when I said all of those stupid things. I'll let you live here, I _want_ you to live here! I know you have every right to hate me, but...'

"He hugged Kaoru to him and patted her back, which was heaving with sobs. 'No, Miss Kaoru. I have _no_ right to hate you, that I don't. Didn't you hear me all that time ago? I love you, that's right. You're the younger sister I never had. You've pushed me to go farther when everything was crashing down around us. Do you think I don't love you for that? Sano is my heart and my soul, Miss Kaoru, but you're the reason I'm here at this dojo, that you are, and I'd be honored to call you my sister just as I call Sano my lover.'

"And then, Kenshin leaned forward and gave Kaoru a chaste kiss on top of her head. It wasn't what she'd been hoping for, true; it wasn't romance, it wasn't marriage, but it was kinship, something that she'd needed for much longer.

"After that day, things seemed much better. Kenshin continued to recover, but I won't bore you with the minor events and trivial details of that. It was, in fact, a winter day the next year, almost spring, when I made a tragic discovery.

"Kenshin had recovered almost fully. He was supposed to be back to his normal self in the summer, which was only several months away at this point. I was checking him over, but not because Kenshin came to me himself. No, he was still in love with Sano, and Sano had practically dragged his redheaded lover to me, saying that Kenshin had a bit of a fever, asking if everything would be alright.

"While Sano waited outside, I felt Kenshin's forehead. There was indeed a warmth there, but there was also a hot blush on his cheeks. He was embarrassed over something. When I moved down to Kenshin's chest, I saw that he was not embarrassed, but scared and ashamed.

"Kenshin had something that had spread over his chest and back, something that looked like an open wound but wasn't. I, myself, am of the opinion that his guilt for all the lives he'd taken was eating him up from the inside, destroying the body that it had polluted for so long. I was terrified at the sight of it, terrified because it looked so painful and so deadly.

"My hand accidentally brushed against an unaffected portion of his back, and Kenshin gave an involuntary gasp of pain. If this was causing him such hurt over most of his body, I didn't know how he was able to let Sano caress and hug him as he did almost constantly now. I looked up and saw that my friend was shaking with agony, trying to keep his screams within himself. I wanted to hold Kenshin, to rub his back if he needed to cry on my shoulder, but I could not. Instead, I just squeezed one hand, and he tried to smile. It was terribly sad; for Kenshin, even the kindest or most loving touch became a torture worse than the blade of an enemy.

"'How long?' I asked softly, not trusting myself to say anymore; I felt sure that the tears preparing to build up in my eyes would spill over.

"'Kenshin sighed. 'A long time, Megumi. A long, long time.'

"'Does Sano know yet?'

"Kenshin shook his head and looked down, ashamed.

"'Your wounds have almost healed,' I said gently. 'He's going to want to make love to you sometime, and yours is a difficult illness to hide.'

"'Please, Megumi, don't tell him,' Kenshin whispered, and looked away.

"'But what about...'

"Kenshin shook his head, smiling sadly, and I knew then what he meant. I was too afraid to acknowledge it as the truth, though, too afraid that even after all of this intermingled heartbreak and happiness, he would still die.

"'Please,' he whispered again. 'Please, Megumi, don't. I'm almost healed, and that's all he needs to know.'

"Kenshin seemed intent on this deception, so I nodded. I felt guilty for deceiving Sano as we were doing, but Kenshin would rather have his lover happy and hopeful that constantly wondering when Kenshin's heart would stop.

"He seemed to be improving over the next few months, though he and I knew the truth. Several times, I saw him gazing sadly at Sano when the tall man wouldn't see it, and several times, I saw Kenshin wince whenever anyone touched him on his back, his chest, or now his stomach. It was heartbreaking, seeing Sano's happiness and knowing that it could all fall apart at any moment.

"Then, one day in spring, Sano and Kenshin were sitting together in the front yard of the dojo, looking at the sakura trees and watching the passers-by. Kenshin loved these happy, tranquil moments; movement was beginning to be painful for him, now, and he preferred the ache of sitting on Sano's lap and snuggling into him to the pain of running or jumping. The sun was out, and the sky was a cloudless blue, though it wasn't oppressively hot.

"Kenshin turned his face up so that he was looking at Sano. 'Sano, I think I'm all healed now, that I do.'

"Sano gave a happy little gasp and crushed Kenshin to him, showering the older man with exuberant kisses. Kenshin's eyes looked pained, but he was determined to hold it in for a while, for just a little longer.

"'I'm a little bit tired, though. Do you mind if I sleep?'

"Sano nodded. Kenshin murmured an 'I love you' and rested his head on Sano's chest. His breathing slowly calmed, growing softer and softer. Sano didn't even register this; he just saw Kenshin smiling and looking so peaceful. Only after Kenshin's breathing had stopped did Sano let out a cry, and it was full of heartbreak and sadness.

"'Kenshin!' he sobbed, trying to call his lover back to him. 'Kenshin!' And then he saw Kenshin's happy, peaceful face, and whispered, 'Kenshin...? You're _happy_ now, aren't you?'

"I came running to Sano's side after I heard his screams. I had suspected that Kenshin would die far before his time, but not this soon. It would never have been soon enough, I realized later. In my selfishness, I would have kept him there for myself, though he was in pain, though his body was deteriorating.

"Sano was holding Kenshin to himself, smiling up at me through a flood of tears that poured down his face and landed on the redhead. Kenshin looked so serene; I thought that he might wake up at any moment, but no. This sleep was forever, this sleep would be the calm, dreamless one he'd always longed for.

"'He just said...' Sano choked out between sobs. 'He just said...he was gonna go to sleep. That's all. He- he didn't even say he was sick or anything. Kenshin's- h-h-he's just _gone, _Megumi. He left me here.'

"I turned my head away so that Sano wouldn't see the shame in my eyes, wouldn't find anywhere the lie that I'd helped Kenshin tell. Tears slipped from my face and landed in the grass beneath me, but I stood up and steeled myself to go and tell Kaoru. It was my penance; to tell the news of Kenshin's death would be to cut myself again and again with our loss of him, and I felt that I deserved it.

"Kenshin was buried the next day, right beneath the sakura tree where he'd been found, badly injured, exactly one year ago. The sadness was immense, and it hung over us like a dark fog despite the beautiful weather. Kenshin had been released from all of his guilt and pain, but he'd left so much behind for all of us to bear. The sakuras floated down, covering the simple grave, making a nice bed for Sano, who spent the night lying by the grave. He said later that Kenshin had spoken to him in a dream and told him not to be so sad. He said that and then went to the sickroom where he and Kenshin had confessed their love, and sank down on their bed, sobbing.

"Sano went to his grave little more than a month later. We buried him beside Kenshin, and the sakura tree that grew over their graves is the most beautiful sapling I've ever seen. In the end, it turned out that Kenshin was Sano's sun, moon, and stars, or perhaps something even more precious, something without which Sano couldn't live. Perhaps he'd been Sano's strength for longer than they'd been together in love. And that was years ago, my dears. And their story has ended."

Megumi looked down at the two girls. Even Ayame, who swore that she never cried, had big tears coursing down her cheeks; Suzume had long ago buried her face in Megumi's bosom and cried, her tears wetting the delicate kimono. She patted the girls gently, trying to reassure them and feeling horrible for saddening them like this.

A figure appeared in the doorway leading into the main rooms from a small bedroom off to the side. He was gaunt and pale, with long black hair that reached the middle of his back. It was apparent that he hadn't cut that shining hair for years, but its silkiness and the light blue of his kimono served to give him an almost ethereal look. Suzume let out a small cry upon seeing him, and hid her face on Megumi's shoulder, thinking that this man had to be a ghost.

The only bright color on him was the green headband he wore. Once, this man had dressed all in bright colors; once, his life had been close to normal, close to happy. Once, he hadn't been the last of the Sekihoutai.

"Ah, Katsu," Megumi said in a voice that reflected her sadness at the sight of this shadow of his former self. "I was just telling the girls about Sano and Kenshin."

He nodded, and a bitter smile crossed his face. "Yeah. Sano... Bastard had to leave me alone to die here. Didn't even have the decency to wait it out with me." A mirthless chuckle. "Just decided to leave me here, caring for Hiko, and Hiko's gone. I'm the last one of the Sekihoutai, Megumi. I'm the last one of that infamous group, and the world won't even know when I die. Saito's on his way out, I heard... That'd be it, now, wouldn't it? That would be ironic if I outlived the man that wanted to kill me. The last of the noble samurai, and he's dying. Our era's ending." Katsu coughed into a handkerchief, red blood spattering the clean white cloth. "We're all dying, all killing each other off, and I'm not even thirty. I'm going to die, and I've lived maybe a little over half as long as my lover did."

Megumi shot Katsu a worried look, and shooed the girls out. He'd been coughing blood more and more often lately; his tuberculosis seemed to worsen as he became more and more depressed. She helped her sometimes-friend back to the bed she was letting him sleep in, and decided to go to the dojo. Sano and Kenshin's graves had gone unvisited by the doctor for nearly a month, and she felt the need to go back there and "speak" to them again. In a way, Megumi was really able to talk to them; Sano and Kenshin had become the air, the grass, the trees, the sakura blossoms that covered the ground like pink snow. She slipped on her shoes, and left.

The next day, Ayame and Suzume hurried back to Megumi's home. They looked in the main room, but she wasn't there, nor was she in the yard. The girls began to worry, fearing that she'd gotten into some sort of trouble or that someone in the close-knit village was seriously ill. Their fears were allayed, however, when they saw the lady doctor walking up the road towards them.

"Auntie Megumi!" The girls ran to greet her, but stopped when they saw her tear-streaked face. "Auntie Megumi...?"

"Katsu got his wish," she replied sadly. "He got his wish by about a minute, or so I heard. I told him Saito was dead, and Katsu just closed his eyes and said he was going home... Some friends just helped me bury him alongside Hiko."

Ayame and Suzume looked up, tears in their eyes, and each took one of Megumi's hands. They walked back toward the house together, sadness shielding them from the bright sun.

"Well," Megumi said after a minute, "why don't we see if there isn't another story to be told?"

* * *

Sorry this took so long! I'm in four honors classes, plus some art classes and a chem class (there is no honors chem), so I was pretty swamped... Also, this chapter's longer than the others. I hope you liked this! 


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